YES. I'm going to put this here again this month and BEG you to buy it. I have literally THOUSANDS of these pre-ordered. And to pay for it, I cashed in Fudgie's college fund.

Haha! Just kidding! I forged Liana's signature and cashed in her 401k. BUT PLEASE DON'T TELL HER. Our marriage is already hanging by a thread since "Tarantula Town."

TOP 11 REASONS TO BUY MY BOOK:

1)  100% Politics-free
2)  It's short - only 202 pages including all the crap the publisher made me put in.
3)  There's not a lot of multi-syllable words to trip up you glue-sniffers, auto-erotic asphyxiation enthusiasts, people who crushed beer cans on their heads in college, et
4)  Printed in a large font for all you geezers out there.
5) You think it would be humorous / tragic to see what would happen to me with fame or wealth.
6) I will nondescriptly sign it for an extra $400.
7) C'mon. Help an irritating and selfish guy out.
8)  Pity
9)  If I get a favorable settlement from the carburetor cleaner manufacturer I could be VERY generous to those of you who bought multiple copies.
10) This book goes to 11.
11) I lowered the price under $10, you ghouls.

FUN FACT: THE COVER PHOTO IS LITERALLY LOOKING INTO MY WHISKEY GLASS.

THE DAY OF THE DOGS
NOW ONLY $9.75
USE COUPON CODE: PITY
<< Click HERE >>

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Do it you cowards.....