I used to put these on sale all the time until a bunch of you thought you were smarter than me and used this coupon along with the 20% Off Coupon I send out with samples on web orders.

The jury is out on whether you are smarter than me until the retrovirus I coated the outside of the bag renders your internal organs into something that resembles rancid tapioca. Then we'll see who is smarter than who. MWUAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

DID YOU KNOW?

1) BARE BITES ARE DELICIOUS USDA-APPROVED SINGLE-INGREDIENT TREATS THAT WERE GIVEN TO US BY SPACE ALIENS WITH GOUT SO OUR DOGS COULD BE HAPPY?

2) ENJOY THREE DIFFERENT FLAVORS - BEEF LIVER, CHICKEN, AND PORK. OR RATHER, HAVE YOUR DOG ENJOY THEM. YOU JUST PRETEND TO BE HAPPY WITH YOUR MELBA TOAST AND OKRA SERVED IN TOASTED BIRCH BARK.

3) YOU CAN USE THIS COUPON CODE FOR THE SHAKERS OF BARE BITES POWDER THAT WILL ENTHRALL EVEN THE MOST PERSNICKETY CHIHUAHUA OR LITTLE DOG NAMED FLUFFYKINS?

4) ACCORDING TO EINSTEIN'S EQUATIONS, THE ONLY WAY TACHYONS CAN MOVE FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT IS TO MOVE BACKWARDS IN TIME?

5) MORE DISGUSTING MICROSCOPIC BUGS LIVE IN ONE OF YOUR EYELASH FOLLICLES THAN THERE ARE BRAINCELLS IN CONGRESS?

6) ATTEMPTING TO BUY ANY BARE BITES PRODUCT USING TWO COUPON CODES CAN RESULT IN INTERNAL ORGAN FAILURE?

7) A BUBBLEGUM MARTINI IS A SHAKEN VODKA DRINK SERVED IN A MARTINI GLASS? LOOK IT UP. IT WENT AWRY WHEN JAMES BOND WANTED HIS GIN MARTINI SHAKEN. THEN WE GOT ALL THESE STUPID SHAKEN VODKA DRINKS CALLING THEMSELVES MARTINIS. THAT'S WHEN THIS COUNTRY STARTED TO BACKSLIDE, PEOPLE. JAMES BOND SHOULD BE STRUNG UP AND HAVE HIS TESTICLES PELTED WITH ICE CUBES AND VIOLATED WITH BUBBLEGUM-FLAVORED MARTINI GLASS. CHANGE MY MIND.

ALL BARE BITES TREATS AND TOPPERS
25% + THE PRIME RATE (8.00%) = 33% OFF!!
USE COUPON CODE: FLUFFYKINS
<< Click HERE >>

This little tidbit was wrestled from our massive April newsletter “The Salty Paws.” If you’re the kind of person who doesn’t have a lot to do employment-wise, why not fritter and waste away your day guffawing like a jughead by clicking here: https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-april-2023-7226064

Sign up for our Salty Paws Newsletter because no one in their right mind will employ you: https://us8.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=0e5740287c6b4fe45247c8351&id=315369d469