BLOODSUCKING TICKS

Wed, 05/25/2022 - 8:45am

CRIKEY!!!!!

I am taking lessons from "Putin's Playbook." Two Salty Dogs will ruthlessly invade Waldoboro unless everyone on my newsletter list hands over all their monthly disposable income, any pocket change, John McClane and any Nakatomi Corporation bearer bonds.

I'm serious this time.

Anyway, buy some stuff here this month so it's worth my while to continue to create original, if not misleading content. I swear if you guys don't buy a bunch of stuff this month I'm just going to copy and paste stuff from old 80's weightlifter magazines.


 

Ticks are pretty gross. And they're everywhere. Just last week I pulled one off a ham sandwich.

US DEPARTMENT OF FACT-CHECKING: FALSE. It was a Monte Cristo.

And they carry a bunch of just awful diseases (The ticks, not THE US DEPARTMENT OF FACT-CHECKING). One disease makes you allergic to red meat. Others will make you hum KC and the Sunshine Band until your brain rots clean out of your ears.

US DEPARTMENT OF FACT-CHECKING:

RED MEAT: TRUE. There are tick-borne viruses that will make you allergic to red meat.

KC & the SUNSHINE BAND: FALSE. It will make you hum Foreigner's "Hot Blooded" until your brain resembles tapioca.

Now that's the way (uh-huh, uh-huh) I like get to the bottom of a photo.

And just to be clear, I COULD have posted an alarmist picture of a snake with its head engulfed in ticks, but I'm just going to post a link to it. Remember: This is America and you have the right to click or not click on a link to a perfectly legal horrific picture.

TICK REMOVAL KEYS- 29.999919% OFF!!!!
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Use Coupon Code: HOTBLOODED
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Read our latest Newsletter that is just chock full of this commercial garbage here:  https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-may-2022-7225892

Subscribe to our Newsletter chock full of this commercial garbage every month: https://us8.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=0e5740287c6b4fe45247c8351&id=315369d469