HAPPINESS ON SALE

Thu, 01/19/2023 - 1:30pm

I JUST USED THE WOMEN'S ROOM AT THE NEWAGEN INN AND I AM SHOCKED.

It's REVERSE SEXISM that women's restrooms have a little chair, flowers, and don't smell like horse vomit.

And for those of you at home, please note the second toy down on the left side. It's not a lobster. It's a shrimp. Or maybe it could be one of those mutant Florida lobsters without claws. All I know is that his name is Paco and he claims to be a prawn.

Ooh La La, Paco. How very Continental of you.

And the face-sucker at the bottom is NOT an actual toy, but rather a poor attempt at humor. But hey, what do you expect after half a bottle of Southern Comfort? Horse vomit?

ATTENTION: THE TOYS ARE NOT STUFFED WITH CRUSTACEANS. THEY ARE STUFFED TOYS MADE TO LOOK LIKE CRUSTACEANS. I WILL ENTERTAIN NO COMPLAINTS ON THE MATTER.

CRUSTACEAN STUFFED TOYS
35.999919% OFF!!!!
Use Coupon Code: SOCORULEZ
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Read our January 2023, World-Famous, Critically-Acclaimed, Most Talked-About Sarcastic Newsletter in this great country: https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-january-2023-7226024

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Do it, my pretty....