Please punch me in the face or the gut. Punching me in the left shoulder, right elbow, kidneys, liver, or groin is RIGHT OUT.
So give me a call or fire off an email and I'll try to get you on the schedule. It's filling up fast. Remember- if you don't have an appointment, it's called 1st degree assault.
WE LOVE HATE MAIL!
The Coal Shack
People definitely DO read this little preamble of the newsletter. TONS of people used the coupon code I tried to bury here. Some people didn't even use another code. And that's just plain nutty.
No. I'm not going to put another one here. It can't be Christmas every day, people. Maybe at the North Pole, but not in the Boothbay Region.
I'll let you know in this section if I try to hide another coupon code in the newsletter.
If you haven't joined us here before, this is the part of the newsletter where we highlight our web-only deals for the month. That's right! These specials are available ALL MONTH LONG, and EXCLUSIVELY to you guys - our rabid newsletter-getters! Of course I throw it up on Facebook mid-month. And if you forwarded this to people you know and they bought stuff with the codes, we would have no way of knowing. So have at it!
And remember all you Boothbay Region Locals - these aren't shop specials. You need to buy them from the website and come in and get them! Or I can mail them to you. Or I can drop them off. Whichever you prefer, just let us know in the "Ordering Instructions" part of your Shopping Cart
SEA JERKY - CHICKEN - 15oz
Normally, I try to make the specials as widely appealing as possible. I'm leading off with this one because we bought WAAAAYYYY too much of this stuff this month because of an accounting (wife) error. Now I'm trying to get rid of all these Sea Jerky 15oz bags. Notice that I am being VERY specific here. Please don't email me and tell me the code won't work for the Beef Sea Jerky 45oz. I will lose whatever faith I have in humanity and become a hobo. And if it DOES work, I'm not going to honor it. Don't act shocked.
Sure, you could buy a 45oz bag of Chicken Sea Jerky for $57.75. OR you could put on that cute little thinking cap and buy THREE 15oz bags with the coupon code for only $53.55. That's a savings of $4.20 you can use to hire an exterminator for the stink beetles hiving in the utility closet.
Great for arthritis, achy bones and joints, made in Maine, etc. etc. etc. It's for DOGS. Don't eat them yourself, knucklehead.
CHICKEN SEA JERKY - 15oz
NOW 35.67567568% OFF
Use Coupon Code: STINKBEETLE
<< Click HERE >>
I say it all the time: Winter is the time I get stuff done. Sure, I'm in the shop six days a week, but there aren't hordes of tourists with ice cream and drawn butter stains down the front of their shirts coming into my shop and asking me where they can get a Tide Stick.
DON'T EMAIL ME AND ASK ME WHERE THE OTHER PHOTOS OF THE GRAY AND BLACK SHIRTS ARE. I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE CONSTRAINTS OF MY E-COMMERCE PLATFORM (21 photos). You'll just have to use the imagination your schools and employers tried to crush over the decades to visualize it.
Great, now I'm all worked up and need to get a shot of Ouzo and yell at the neighbor kids playing with the polecats on my lawn. Maybe I'll drink the Ouzo myself and go play with the polecats.
See the first iteration of our new and improved T-Shirt webpage. It's new and improved because we now have:
-- 8 colors (4 more from previous)
-- 4 different Logo placements (3 more than previous)
-- 2 different-sized Logos (1 more than previous)
-- A new, slick, and compelling webpage (1 more than previous)
-- A T-shirt color called "Watermelon" (Awesome).
I know the web category "T-Shirts" might look a little sparse now with only short-sleeved options, but my goal is to add Long Sleeve-No Pocket, and Long Sleeve-Pocketed T-Shirts on the website by April. Also sweatshirts, but don't push it unless you want me to give the polecats more booze.
As always, our T-shirts are made right here in Boothbay Harbor by BBH Apparel, so your purchase supports two small business in the Harbor.
And yes. I am the model in all the photos.
SMOKED DOG BONES
I should probably be clear. These aren't Smoked Dog Bones. A more appropriate name would be: "Smoked Beef Marrow Bones for Dogs to Chew On For Hours and Hours When You Need To Get Some Actual Work Done." Nice try, sicko. Like I would sell actual Dog Bones for dogs to chew on.
And please don't be one of these people who look at me like I'm the equivalent of John Wayne Gacy for selling marrow bones to dogs. I'm sorry if your dog chipped a tooth on one, but my dogs are just fine with them and have been for a long time. If your dog can't handle a marrow bone, don't get her one. It doesn't mean it isn't appropriate for ALL dogs.
You really should pay less attention to what I'm doing, unless it's the second crappy photo of all the bones. You should pay more attention to how your dog reacts to things like tractors and porcupines. Just saying.
SMOKED BEEF MARROW BONES- 31.77178% OFF!!!!
Use Coupon Code: DEMBONES
It's not all T-Shirts and Marrow Bones in Boothbay Harbor in the winter. The rest of the time I spend either shoveling snow or adding more stuff to the website. Oh God look at how long that photo is! Why did I do that? I've got to stop vacillating between Over-Achiever and Slack King. Pick one, Donny Boy. PICK ONE, man. Pick one and only one and stick with it.
I feel like I'm on a first date- I'm awkwardly trying to think of something interesting to talk about that will gain me access to your semi-naked bod... errmm... mind.
So what did you get for a grade in penmanship in 6th grade? I failed it because I refused to learn cursive writing. They didn't keep me back a grade because of it. I'm pretty sure they thought it was hilariously funny that I didn't even try and made a mockery of Penmanship Class. I wrote perfectly fine- when it wasn't cursive. Cursive writing is just fast block letter writing with pretentious curly-cues. Also- the capital "A" in cursive looks stupid. It looks like the fat, potbellied uncle of a small, fat, potbellied cursive "A." Click on the link above and tell me I'm wrong.
And doesn't a large "Q" in cursive look terribly like a normal Two? Think about if NASA had to do the Apollo program in cursive and the English Measurement system. I'm sure there would have been dozens of rockets crash-landing in places like The Mall of America and Disneyland. Not that I'm complaining.
So what do you think? I had a wonderful time this evening except for the feces-throwing baboons. You want to try this thing again? I promise on our next date I won't wear acid-washed jeans and drink three Volcano Bowls for Two by myself. You sure are purty.
And for Dog's sake, IT DOESN'T APPLY TO PET FOOD. GET 10% OFF THAT WITH COUPON CODE "FODDER" (without the quotes). Also, the Coupon Code for the T-shirts is better. No, you can't get both codes for the T-shirts. Sheesh.
25.22751985% OFF ALL NEW STUFF
Use Coupon Code: POTBELLIED
<< Click HERE >>