Many of you have seen me tapping away at my laptop at the end of the bar and just assume I am a sociopath hacking away at my manifesto. Or is it psychopath? Please write and tell me (Sarcasm).

People usually know me and leave me alone when I'm writing. But people who don't know me assume that I'm some horrible workaholic or insufferable Facebook nerd and try to engage me in a conversation. Usually, they're trying to be nice, although once I was shouted at by a self-described modern-day "pirate" for not engaging in conversation with him. I'm still confused to this day about the whole affair.

Most of you old timers know that I've been single-minded about finishing this novel of Max's. It started as a heist novel, morphed into a humorous glimpse into the workings of Chez Salty, and then morphed again into a battle of survival between dogs and coyotes. I had no idea it was going to be as long as it is.

Why did I break the orderly tradition of one-dog, one-month, one-blog and go gung-ho after Max's story "Day of the Dogs?" It's really quite simple- Max will be 15 in May, and there is absolutely no way I could ever finish this story if Max died in the middle of my writing it.

I could edit and rework it. I could gut it and start new, but there is no way I could ever finish it.

So I felt a growing need to get it all out. It could be riddled with syntax and timing errors, but I had to get it all out while I could still look at him and feel him breathing next to me at night.

—————————————————————————————————————————–

A PARTY NOW

Maximus Gary had an idea. He brushed Buddy aside and began piling snow on Waskin’s neck. He pat it down and pressed down on it.

“Stop panting. Breathe slowly,” he said. “Relax. Slow your heart rate so your blood will slow down and clot.” It wasn’t true, but it sounded good.

She looked at him with very tired eyes and nodded feebly. She exhaled tremendously, almost finally.

“Buddy, don’t lick her wound. Keep this snow packed on her neck. Press down on it. It will stop the bleeding. It will help her.”

“OK Max, I will keep the snow and my paws on her neck until you tell me to stop. Can we have the party now?”

Maximus Gary smiled. “Of course, Buddy. Let’s have a party.”

************

BENEDICTION

“So many heroes,” thought Maximus Gary.

He spoke reluctantly, “I’m sorry, I don’t know coyote names, yet.” He motioned to the circle. “Ginger and Zeus– stay with Waskin and Buddy. Let me know if anything changes. The rest of you, Dog and Coyote, come with me.”

The Coyotes left the circle around Waskin and streamed like a bedraggled army after the Dogs. Rincon and Oshunt thought it was a trap and hung onto the periphery. They were well aware of Biped treachery. Wouldn’t their dogs be of the same ilk?

All fear dissipated when they arrived at The Garden Shed and saw the heaps of Biped food neatly stacked in the corner behind the lawnmower. Auggie and Teddy began grabbing bins and handing them over to coyotes who, in turn, brought them to where Buddy, Ginger, and Zeus stood guard over Waskin. Ginger told them to lay them reverently around Waskin in a circle.

The coyotes were driven mad with hunger. They could smell the food and feel the warmth coming from the bins as they brought them to the circle. They would have chewed the bins open in a frenzy if the bins weren’t covered in a white powder stung their tongue, eyes and nose.

Stiwict brought the last bin to the circle, Maximus Gary took The Ham and lay it in the center by Waskin’s head.

“Attention! I have some things to say before we enjoy this feast. Please bear with me. All my points are critical.”

Maximus Gary raised his paw for silence. Dogs and Coyotes hushed. They looked towards Maximus Gary in the dim light for his Benediction.

************

POINTY

He spoke loudly.

“Before we celebrate, I need to make some important points….

“Point Number One: This is a SACRED ham,” he said, pointing to it with his snout. “Buddy brought it for us ALL. And we shall ALL partake of it when Waskin can partake of it. If she cannot, we ALL shall not. Agreed?”

“Damn right!” yelled Jabode and all Canines present tittered and dutifully nodded their assent. Waskin managed a weak wag of her tail and the group rejoiced. Buddy- who had never growled in his life, growled at Waskin to stay still under his paws’ pressure. Auggie and Teddy looked at Buddy in shock. Waskin relaxed and let the ice and pressure do their work.

“Point Number Two: All the bins are now placed around Waskin and Buddy in a circle. All Canines shall sample the board of fare in an orderly counter-clockwise direction.” Maximus Gary saw the confusion from the coyotes who had never seen a clock and said, “This way–” He motioned with his paw.

“Point Number Three: To open the food bins, find the small tab on the lid and place your paw on the center of the lid. Then press down. Grab the tab with your teeth and pull up. GENTLY! If you don’t, the food will go everywhere and nodog… errr… nocanine can enjoy it.

There was a murmur as each inspected their bins for some kind of directions.

“Point Number Four: STOP!!!!! Nocanine should begin eating before the other. Everycanine gets the tops off the bins and waits for all the other bins to be opened.

“Point Number Five: SHARE!!! Don’t eat everything in a particular bin, even if it’s the most amazing thing you’ve ever tasted. Leave some for others. The most amazing thing you’ve ever tasted may be in the next bin. Have a taste of everything, and let others have a taste of everything. There’s more than enough to go around.

“Point Number Six: All Canines shall leave enough food in the bins for Waskin and Buddy to sample. Mind your intake!

“Point Number Seven: And this is the most important of all– after The Feast and the Rejoicing, there is a lot to do. Most of it is unpleasant, but he Bipeds cannot ever know what happened here tonight. Everyone will do their part. No exceptions… except for the obvious…” He motioned to Buddy, Waskin, Ginger, and Zeus.

He looked at them all apprehensively. Could this possibly work with no fighting?

Maximus Gary dropped his paw and announced, “Are we all in agreement, Canines?” He looked at every Dog and Coyote in their eyes.

“The Feast is Open!”

********

MINOR KERFUFFLES

Dog and Coyote alike wrestled with the bin tops. Some were better at it than others. Most needed help. The good helped the struggling in what might be described as a trust-building exercise.

When all the bins in the circle were open, the party began in earnest.

The Dogs moved rapidly and aggressively over the exposed bins, whereas The Coyotes moved more apprehensively. They looked to right and left as they advanced to the new food like they were under a gun scope.

It looked like a grand game of Canine Musical Chairs with only winners.

There were minor kerfuffles as Dogs and Coyotes navigated the bin contents, but there were no fights. Teddy and Jabode were even laughing together over a giant bin of stuffing. Zeus and Ginger were re-enacting their battle in the Garden Shed humorously with a rapt audience. They all laughed when Zeus used an evil little smirk to re-enact his kicking of lime at Grimshull’s head stuck in the Garden Shed door.

Maximus Gary purposefully made his way through the Coyotes, taking pains to learn all their names and as much of their personalities as he could

Buddy did not eat a scrap of the food brought before him. He focused all his might on keeping snow packed on Waskin’s neck. He could eat food later.

She was his best friend.

*******

I DON’T LIKE SALAD

The Feast was a success. Everycanine had eaten their fill and there was still a lot of food left. Dogs and Coyotes were mixing and talking to each other.

Maximus Gary stood over Waskin. She looked up at him with her exposed eye.

“I suppose you’ll kill me now,” she said and wagged her tail weakly. “Or feed me salad.”

“Salad will set you free,” he said facetiously. She wagged her weak tail a little harder. Zeus and Ginger dragged the bin of onions boiled in cream to her. Almost all the onions were gone, but a lot of the cream remained.

“Buddy, take your paws away from Waskin’s neck. Let’s see the wound.”

Buddy dutifully obeyed. Once freed, he scratched his butt determinedly. Then his yeasty ears for what seemed like hours. He was always itchy everywhere, and he would keep scratching himself for as long as Max allowed him.

In the weak light, Maximus Gary saw the snow under Waskin’s neck was bright crimson and partially melted. Her fur was matted and stained a dull brown. He was glad to see no fresh surge of bleeding when Buddy released his paws from her neck. Maybe they were past the worst. She was breathing slowly, yet she was straining to do it.

“Drink,” Maximus Gary said to her when the boiled onion bin came to her.

“I can’t move my head, Maximus,” she said.

Ginger hopped up and went to the bin of onion cream and filled her mouth. She came around to Waskin’s snout and dribbled it into the side of her mouth and into her jaws. Waskin opened and closed her mouth with her tongue lapping, trying to get all the luscious warmish cream into her mouth. She gnawed at the snow where the cream missed.

Ginger and Zeus kept bringing her cream in their little mouths. Maximus Gary piled fresh snow on Waskin’s neck.

“Buddy, I will take over Waskin now. Go have some food. When you’ve had enough, go back and press on Waskin’s neck like you did before. Can you do that?”

“OK,” said Buddy, “I have not had any food yet except a little ham. And I don’t like salad.”

They all looked at Buddy and began laughing like crazy. Even Waskin couldn’t help chuckling.

Buddy looked around confusedly. He shoved Maximus Gary out of the way and put his paws on Waskin’s neck. He then looked at all of them stoically.

“I will have some ham when Waskin has her ham.”

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Read the rest of the conclusion to Day of the Dogs here: https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/day-of-the-dogs-vii/

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