Meet Philip,

Philip is either enormously stupid or working an angle against small online stores he feels are terrified of bad reviews.

He ordered a 30lb bag of dog food to be shipped to Texas despite the big, red, bold text on the product page that says, "THIS PRODUCT IS AVAILABLE FOR LOCAL DELIVERY OR CURBSIDE PICKUP ONLY!"

Despite my courteous phone message and email, he called our shop and berated the lovely and talented Reagan who continually offered to put him in contact with me.

When I called him back, I told him I was very sorry, but I had my gills caught in a net somewhere off the Georges Banks over the weekend and would he mind if I expelled my roe before continuing?

Hahah! He had no choice in that matter. It was roe to go.

He claimed I inserted the RED BOLD TEXT after he placed his order. He claimed we were fraudulent and would report me. To what organization he wouldn't say. I just said "BULL$!T" and laughed at him. That's the "cussing" he refers to in his review.

He demanded his bag of food as if I was violating his civil rights. I countered with a full refund. He demanded his bag of food again and I told him I was issuing a full credit and not to bother me anymore. He demanded his bag of food or he'd write a bad review. I told him I was heading into spinal graft surgery in an hour and I really needed to take my epidural, so have at it with the bad review.

So if you guys have a minute and don't hate my guts too much, why not write a good review for us and help wipe Philip's Pholly from humanity's collective memory.

CLICK HERE FOR PHILIP'S PHOLLY

-- Don (Not a Dog)