SHEDDING IT

One very busy day last summer, I ran back into our storage shed out back and saw what appeared to be a confused couple helping themselves to our merchandise.

"This is a highly restricted area!" I said with urgency, holding my mouth into the armpit of my T-shirt.

"Well.. uh... isn't this Two Salty Dogs...?"

"It WAS Two Salty Dogs before the government forced us to store Dental X-Ray waste here! You weren't hoping to start a family, were you? I'm guessing probably not because you look pretty desiccated."

"WHAT?!?!" the woman shrieked.

"Whoa whoa whoah.... lets not go overboard. Let me shut off the radiation stream first."

I clicked a non-working light switch repeatedly.

"IT'S NOT WORKING!!! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!!!!!!!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!"

Once we're all out of the shed...

"I'll need you to sign this affidavit declaring you came in here without standard lead gonad protectors, and/or you were previously sterile, and/or completely insane to walk into this shed in the first place."

Couple runs and jumps over the 3ft doggie fence that was supposed to keep them out.

Next year it will be razor wire and C-4 on infrared trip lasers. That might keep them out.

~ Don (Not a Dog)

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