WE LOVE HATE MAIL! - NOVEMBER 2021
BACKGROUND: The shop is super busy and Reagan and I are doing our best to help people & check them out. The phone rings.
Angry Old Geezer on the Phone: "YES. I WAS IN YOUR SHOP LAST WEEK AND YOU SAID THIS COLLAR WOULD FIT MY DOG."
AOGotP: "IT DOESN'T!"
ME: "OK. Do you want a replacement or a refund?"
AOGotP: "I WOULDN'T TRUST YOU TO REPLACE A NEWSPAPER MUCH LESS A DOG COLLAR!"
ME: "What's a newspaper?"
AOGotP: "I WANTED A COLLAR TO FIT MY DOG!"
ME: "Alrighty. So refund, then? If you send the collar back, I can issue you a..."
AOGotP: "WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO PAY TO SEND IT BACK TO YOU?!?! I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG!!!!"
ME: <Cartoon light bulb goes off over my head> "You let the collar out all the way and it still didn't fit your dog?"
ME: "It's adjustable. You just take the nylon strap and push it through the piece of metal hardware called "The Butterfly" and you....."
ME: <Into the dial Tone> "Have a Super Nice Day, you wonderful, beautiful, dumpster fire, you."
TWO SALTY DOGS FACT CHECKER: PARTIALLY TRUE
Don crawled into the corner, curled in the fetal position, and wet himself after the confrontation with the angry old geezer on the phone.
~~ Don (Not a Dog)
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