Winter in Boothbay Harbor leaves a person with lots of time on their hands. Most Mainers use this time to soul-search and cultivate a deep bond between themselves and nature. Maybe that's why Mainers are so stoic-- the winter gives them a rugged and lonely perspective that is ripe for introspection and personal-growth.

Not me. I like watching Lifetime Network movies. Here are some facts about the Lifetime Network Movies I've discovered so far:

• Every Lifetime movie is from a middle-aged woman's point of view.
• The woman mistakenly puts her trust into seemingly solid people like doctors, lawyers, nurses, the government, childhood friends, babysitters, Ferris Wheel operators, errant husbands, but NEVER her family.
• The woman's trust is invariably betrayed and she must develop her inner strength to overcome her overly-trusting transgressions.
• Everything turns out OK with the woman learning a valuable life lesson like; "Never trust carnival people with your children."

And that's only half the fun. The other half is the movie titles. Can you guess which movie titles are real and which ones I made up after a pint of whiskey?

• The Doctor Will Kill You Now
• Doctor Auctioned Off My Baby
• Psycho Husband Doctor
• Killer Poolboy Lover
• Murder In-Law
• Poolboy Lover Stole my Baby
• Neighbor Teenager's Psycho Baby
• Babysitter Stole my Baby From My Poolboy Lover
• Giant Spider Babysitter
• Psycho Goat Ate My Lawn

Perhaps Two Salty Dogs will set up a watching party for Lifetime Movie Premieres with our fans. Send me an email if you're interested. If there's enough interest, I will beg Liana to set it all up despite the fact that she loathes all this crap.

Read our latest Newsletter that is just chock full of this weird stuff here:  https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-march-2022-7225848

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