Let me say right up front that the acorn image is enlarged for illustration purposes. Imagine how big the squirrels would be to harvest these bad boys! They would need to be French bulldog size.

My acorn sizing in this week’s class is intended to help me explain the difficult and controversial subject of weather prediction, using what used to be referred to as “Old Wives’ Tales.” Suffice it to say, out of respect for current political correctness trends, that I will not use that term. In today’s application we will refer to this process as “weather roulette,” and I will reference time honored techniques.

First and foremost, the size and quantity of acorn populated oak trees. Please refer to above photo. Weather roulette lore suggests that quantity and thickness of the “shell” are indicators of winter weather. That is, if there are lots of acorns and their shell is substantial, winter will be more severe, thus the need for more French bulldogs. There seem to be a lot of acorns. The relative mass of this year’s shell lacks comparative data in my study.

Another indicator that has come to my attention is the amount of brown in the middle part of a furry caterpillar's body. This critter’s coloring appears to be a telltale sign of impending doom. Ladies and gentlemen, mount your plows. The bug is leaning toward more black color. Only time will tell.

Last but not least, the “weather stick.” This is, in my experience, the most accurate weather indicator. In times of high humidity/moisture, the stick is limp. When the weather is bright sunny and dry, the stick is erect. Can I say that? I have never known this device to be misleading in any way. I know instantly what the weather is, without question. As far as what the weather will be, down the road, the stick defers to French bulldogs and fuzzy bugs.

I’m sticking with the stick.