THE NEWS FROM MARS - MAY 2022
I am taking lessons from "Putin's Playbook." Two Salty Dogs will ruthlessly invade Waldoboro unless everyone on my newsletter list hands over all their monthly disposable income, any pocket change, John McClane and any Nakatomi Corporation bearer bonds.
I'm serious this time.
Anyway, buy some stuff here this month so it's worth my while to continue to create original, if not misleading content. I swear if you guys don't buy a bunch of stuff this month I'm just going to copy and paste stuff from old 80's weightlifter magazines.
I already apologized for the April Fools joke where I pranked everyone that Marz needed a new home. Now stop sending me your cigarette butts and sputum in the mail. It's illegal, you know.
And please keep coming into the shop asking if he's available for adoption. I'm a sadist like that.
New Nicknames: The Menace, The Red Menace, Fudgicle, Fudgebot, Fudgepot, Fudgeous, Fudgeous Maximus, Fudgeolicious, ChocoButt, Ding-a-Ling, Dum-Dum, ISaidKnockItOFF, KNOCKITOFF!
The best news from Marz is that Auggie and Marz are now Best Buddies. Auggie only had to bite him half a dozen times, and about two dozen times with close or marginal hits.
Auggie showed Marz how to swim and Marz swam. Auggie showed Marz how to beg from us insistently, so of course Marz does it. And they both love fetching.
Of course Teddy still hates the upstart like a long-hacking bronchitis cough that is antibiotic-resistant.
But every once and a while, you'll see Teddy jumping in the water because Fudgebot and Auggie are going after tennis balls. That's right, Marz now swim-fetches.
And we really wish Max was still with us because Marz is pretty solid on all his training, and is discovering the joys of defying us. Max would approve.
Read our latest Newsletter that is just chock full of this commercial garbage here: https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-may-2022-7225892
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