20% OFF PET FOOD
I recommend everyone watch at least 5 episodes of "Dog the Bounty Hunter." And be warned: there are no dogs. They just call this guy Duane Chapman "The Dog." I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the mullet, but I can't put my finger on it. And I never want to put my finger on his mullet, either.
ANYWAY....
"The Dog" has a whole tribe of relatives what follow him around on all things bounty. The males all have names that are different manifestations of "Duane." Like "Duane Lee," or "Duane-a-lama-ding-dong," or "Dwankie." Most have mullets and just ridiculous facial hair.
The women are usually cranky with obscene fingernails and are always looking to rumble with the local, overly-made-up women screaming in the middle of public roadways for no reason.
I've often slipped into fantasy where "The Dog" and his tribe of Neanderthal Inbreeds comes onto my property and threatens me in the same way he threatens all the poor people who have no idea what their rights are. In the milder fantasies, I call 911 and tell the operator my house is being invaded by a Circus Freakshow. In the harsher fantasies, I sway the judge to capital punishment with my searing and emotional soliloquy that involves a murdered chrysanthemum bush.
In all the fantasies however, I have the finely-cultivated mullet I had in the 80's and Duane is insanely jealous.
ANYWAY.... Let's get a couple things straight.
1) 10% + 10% = 20% total. And you still need to pay sales tax.
2) This is only available for IN-STOCK dog and cat food only. NO special orders.
3) Does not apply to food on sale.
4) First come, first served. We will not hold food for anyone.
5) WE'RE GOING TO HONOR THIS ONE IN THE SHOP. YOU JUST NEED TO REMEMBER THE TWO CODES BELOW. DON'T COME IN THE SHOP AND GIVE ME A LINE OF BULLCRAP.
6) YOU NEED TO USE TWO COUPON CODES. DON'T BE A DUMMY.
7) WE DO NOT SHIP LARGE BAGS OF FOOD OUTSIDE OUR LOCAL DELIVERY AREA.
ALL IN-STOCK PET FOOD
NOW 20% OFF
USE COUPON CODE #1: FODDER
USE COUPON CODE #2: DWANKIE
<< Click HERE >>
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