WHAT TO DO IN CASE OF CAT ATTACK

Mon, 01/15/2024 - 8:00am

COUPON IS GOOD FOR JANUARY 2024

I can't tell you how many people come into the shop and loudly complain how expensive the moose antlers are. It's classified.

Most urban/suburban people just assume, like all their other dog toys, moose antlers come off the assembly line in China, are thrown in a container ship and are vomited out in Long Beach, where they make their agonizing migration to pet stores all over this great and free nation. Even to pet shops in the frozen wastes of Maine.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Once a year, I throw a bunch of salt licks out in my back 40 acres and go out and shoot dozens and dozens of moose. Like my intrepid pioneer forefathers before me, I harvest the antlers and just leave the carcasses there to rot. Do you know how much time that takes? And let me tell you, those carcasses STINK and draw out all kinds of other wildlife I have to end up poisoning with liquid mercury.

That's why the moose antlers are so expensive, Chumley.

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I suggest you explore Newfoundland Canada and eat nothing but cod for a month. Or at least explore our shabby, last-minute, misspel’t, gluten-free, cod-free, monthly e-newsletter that brings shame to my family: https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-october-2023

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